The last 2 years of my life have taken me through what feels like a decade of what most likely can be described as some sort of wisdom, although I don’t have the perfect word to describe it.
My son was born almost 1.5 years ago, and my uncle died 1.5 months ago.
I would like to put to paper (or a PHP database) what I have learned, or atleast try to formulate it.
Both the experiences have been really raw and experienced first hand, which I really don’t regret. I think in our world where everything is sanitized and kept at arms length, I think its important to truly not shy away from the guts of life and death.
When my son was born, I was in the delivery room for almost 36 hours from the moment we arrived until he was on a table screaming and crying. When my uncle died I was down in the raw earth receiving the body wrapped in blankets and putting it in the ground.
Although both experiences were really rough psychologically, I don’t think its possible to fathom what has happened without going through them.
Lesson # 1 – Birth is the opposite of death
As cliche as this sounds, unless experienced first hand, its not possible to really grasp this seemingly simple yet extremely profound thought.
The positive emotions that come from someone coming into the world are literally the opposite of the motions one feels when someone dies.
The joy is exactly opposed to the grief.
The circle of life is truly essential.
Lesson #2 – there is no fanfare
Somehow when you vizualise either a delivery or a funeral, they seem very epic and movie like. In reality, they are far from it.
The cold winter day in the graveyard, was just very quiet. Just the sound of the wind, the imam chanting and the sounds of the dirt falling. Same with the delivery room. Silence. Scream. Silence. Doctors instructions, silence. Crying baby.
Generally, both events were a lot less dramatic than you would imagine.
Lesson #3 – value life
Every moment is precious.
You literally never know when you or someone close to you might die.
My uncle lived with my grandmother who has been herself through some rough times. I have been preparing for her departure for around 5 years now, recording video & audio of her, visualizing myself watching & listening to them after she died.
In the end, she is here, and he is suddenly gone.
You never know who will go, or when.
Its usually very sudden, and often completely unexpected.
P.s: based on certain medical results/reports its quite likely that he died of COVID-19.